No doubt, many of you will have seen recent media stories about a petition highlighting the alarming and disturbing sexual assault of teenage girls in Sydney by boys from single sex schools.
A petition started by former Kambala student Chanel Contos, unveiled hundreds of former schoolgirls’ allegations of sexual assault at the hands of their male peers. Their accounts were individually shocking and cumulatively harrowing. Since then, more than 4000 graphic allegations of sexual assault have been shared and this outpouring of testimonies across the nation must surely be the fuel for us all to empathise with victims and question why this occurs in our society. It is time for us all to challenge such behaviour to ensure that collectively we bring about cultural and structural change.
Federal Education Minister Alan Tudge said he had been shocked by the outpouring of anonymous testimonies of sexual assault and harassment on the website Teach Us Consent, which began as a petition by former Sydney school student Chanel Contos calling for the teaching of consent to be made mandatory in all schools. Mr Tudge told ABC Radio that the government would, in coming weeks, introduce a new programme, called Respect Matters, to the National Curriculum, which will cover issues around respectful relationships, consent and abuse.
The topic of consent is a vital and urgent issue in our society, in schools and for our boys. At MBBC there is much done to educate our students about consent, but like all schools we constantly review our programmes, and know we can and should do more. However, we cannot do this alone, and we must work together as a community to teach our boys about respectful relationships.
Parents are also encouraged to start having age-appropriate conversations around consent sooner rather than later, as some teens experience their first sexual encounter well before the subject matter is discussed. It is not enough for parents or carers to assume that your teenage son knows or understands what consent means and the implications surrounding it. It is important for them to learn about boundaries to enable them to respect themselves and their partners.
The Principal of one of Melbourne’s largest Independent Schools says parents have just as much work to do as teachers to pierce the increasingly “private” worlds of teenagers and educate them about sexual consent. In response to recent events, and as urged by many Principals, Wesley College Principal Mr Nick Evans has called on parents to share the load in teaching children about respectful relationships, suggesting many students are not receptive to learning about sexuality, pornography and respect in the classroom.
In response to this issue, there is considerable content on School TV that our parents and boys have access to, and which offers parents guidance around normalising the topic of consent to ensure your son experiences healthy and respectful relationships: https://mbbc.qld.schooltv.me/wellbeing_news/special-report-conversation-consent
I offer another resource from Mr Adair Donaldson, a lawyer who engages with numerous schools throughout Australia on the topic of consent and the related issues. In this brief video he outlines five Top Tips about consent and the law.
https://www.facebook.com/donaldsonlawau/videos/1077089829436164
Along with the above resources I also offer you a more light-hearted but very effective comparison of sexual consent to making someone a cup of tea:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pZwvrxVavnQ
I encourage all of our parents to have age-appropriate conversations about sex and sexuality with your son. If we, together in partnership, do not teach our students about respectful relationships, sex, and sexuality then the mainstream media and the internet will.
It is clear as adults we must teach and role model respectful relationships to the children and adolescents around us. Our Positive Behaviours Policy and Procedures is a document which endeavours to guide us all on how to interact with courtesy, respect, and kindness and how to resolve conflict or tension in an appropriate and restorative manner. Briony Scott - Principal of Wenona School in Sydney - put this beautifully last week in an article in the Sydney Morning Herald;
“Young people learn by watching. They look for cues as to how to behave in situations where they have little experience. They listen to the words, they watch the finger pointing, and they know what behaviour is validated, and what behaviour is ignored. They learn how to be good people by watching adults and learning what matters.”
At MBBC, we educate our boys about relationships, consent and respect, covered in subjects such as the Secondary School Time Programme and in Secondary Health and Physical Education. Next term, we will welcome one of the country’s leading speakers on issues of harassment, respect and self-discipline, Mr Brent Sanders, who will be speaking to the boys in Years 10, 11 and 12 and he will address the topic of consent each time. Please refer to the link below which will provide some information from the speaker, Mr Brent Sanders, who will speak to the boys.
https://www.brentsandersconsulting.com.au/schools-universities
We will educate the boys about consent. But your boys also need you to have an age-appropriate conversation with you about consent as well, because you are the ones who love them most, know them best and can have the one-on-one conversation.
The young women coming forward have shown incredible courage, and are rightly demanding action, for behaviours which have no place in today’s society. It is imperative that our response to this issue not be short lived, and it seems particularly significant that the International Women's Day theme focusses on Choose to Challenge. There is much work to be done in this area. What is clear however, is that we must work together as a community to ensure a greater understanding of consent and so affect change in attitudes.
Faith and Integrity
